My girlfriend is battling depression and has recently spent more time on her own in her withdrawal stage.?
Question by maddogg: My girlfriend is battling depression and has recently spent more time on her own in her withdrawal stage.?
Hello everyone. First off, let me begin by apologizing for such a long explanation of what my girlfriend and I are going through but I really am in a bind and wished to share the entire story. My girlfriend whom I love dearly is experiencing depression and is suddenly shutting me out. I’ve tried to do as much research as possible and know that at times, part of the illness is withdrawal from everyone so I’m trying to be as understanding and patient as possible. She truly is a great person and it kills me knowing that my baby is going through such torment. She thanks me and tells me that she’s lucky that I’m in her life but I honestly feel like I’m not doing anything/enough for her; I would truly do anything in order for her to feel some relief but just don’t know what to do. I try to listen to her as much as I can, I’m there for her whenever she may need me, and although she hasn’t allowed me yet to see her when she’s at her lowest – crying and sobbing – she tells me that she wants it to be me that she’s able to call and hug her through the night. I text her throughout the day saying hello and pretty much telling her how my day is going and reminding her that although she may need to be alone for now, I’m always thinking of her. The only thing that concerns me is the fact that when I text her, let’s say early in the morning, it takes a very long time for her to reply. I know that what she’s going through now is a terrible thing and I truly am willing to give her her time, but the only thing that I would ask for is that she at least text me – when she’s going through her depressive stage; she doesn’t want to talk on the phone – and tell that “she doesn’t wish to speak at the moment.” I would have no problem with giving her her space but I would like to be able to text her and her texting back to at least say that she doesn’t wish to speak at the moment; rather than hours of no communication. Next time I speak with her I’m gonna share that information with her and hope she doesn’t get offended by it. She thanks me endlessly that I’m being so understanding and patient but I honestly don’t think it’s such a bad thing that all I ask is for her to at least reply if she wishes for me to leave her alone. But on the other hand, if you feel that I should just continue and let her take care of herself on her own and text when she feels most comfortable, I would wholeheartedly take that into consideration. But I do believe I’m at least due that much since I’m being as compassionate as I can be in every other aspect of the illness.
I would like to know what you think of my situation but most importantly if you have any suggestions of what else I can do to show support. I’ll be honest and say that the only thing that truly is taking a toll is just the fact that I text her and it literally takes hours for a reply. Like I said, if she needs her time I am completely ok with that, all I ask for is some form of communication and for her to let me know that she wishes to be left alone.
She was recently prescribed Lithium but after much research on my own with other doctors, they all agree that she should NOT be on that medication therefore she is changing over to a therapist rather than a pill-pusher; especially since what she is suffering from is depression – not schizophrenia nor is she bi-polar. I’ve noticed that she’s not at her best the day after we go out to special events and there is any form of alcohol involved. After research on my part, I’ve found that alcohol + lithium is the worst combination. I hope this new therapist would take her off the lithium but I’m not her therapist but her boyfriend. Also, she is repeatedly asking me why I would want to put myself through such hardships with her. She repeatedly tells me that it’s not fair to me and she just can’t understand why I’m willing to put myself through this. I’ve told her every single reason – honest reasons – of why I can’t be without her but simply don’t know what else to say. It came to the point where yesterday I simply told her that no matter how hard she may try, she will not push me away and that I will not allow her to take my happiness away – which is her.
Could you please give me any other recommendations as to what else I can try to do to make her happy. Or if you have any experiences which may relate to my situation would you mind sharing them with me so I can perhaps get some ideas.
By no means am I mad at her for her illness, nor do I wish to blame for anything. But yes, whenever I’m left in the air, at that point I feel like I’m not her boyfriend. But regardless, I’m willing to do anything for her to recuperate; however long it may take. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read such long story and I appreciate all – serious – replies. Bless you all.
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